We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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