I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
