Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
