I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
