Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dear god my vagina.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
