woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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