cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
