I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
