no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
