Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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