bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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