dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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