you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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