I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize