your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
time to smoke my breakfast
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
