I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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