well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
