I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
