i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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