i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
