i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
