I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
