Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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