i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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