Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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