Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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