yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Vodka?
Forever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
