I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
