She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Two words: nipple clamps
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