Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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