Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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