Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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