my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
