butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
