Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
