You really coming over, don't trick.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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