"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
