Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im holly from the hills drunk
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
