Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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