What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
