So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
