I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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