Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
