Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
