There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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