Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
