never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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