Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
