I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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