Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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