No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
