When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
