just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
