I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just want nice things and good sex
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
