When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
