It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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