forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
