he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize