spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
