I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
