Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
