so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
