All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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