STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
