That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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