C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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