my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize