my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
