Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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